An Unreserved Apology To Manchester United Defender Harry Maguire

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 “Harry Maguire is a donkey who has the defensive presence of a traffic cone.”

This was a post I put on Twitter - or now X pre-Elon Musk’s takeover - in April 2022. I was rightfully banned from the platform for abusive behaviour because indeed, I was out of line.



Maguire did not deserve to be treated this way by myself and many other Manchester United supporters who were rightfully frustrated with his performances at that juncture. It got to a point where overworked manager Erik Ten Hag took the captaincy of the team away from him at the start of this season.


The England centre back has only gone and shut me the hell up this term with his impressive form! He has been crucial in helping keep alive a season that is threatening to go totally off the rails as the Red Devils battle injuries, horribly out-of-form players, a dodgy game-plan and sideshows off the pitch.


Maguire has been so damned good that he was named the Premier League Payer of the Month for November! Wow! Talk about a comeback to end all comebacks! The man deserves it!


I am using this opportunity to apologise for my comments, Harry! I am gladly wolfing down this humble pie stuffed with a liberal amount of crow. For good measure, I will be washing down this not-quite-tasty meal with my tears, as well as those of your other critics. You have been a shining light in a particularly dark time.


I wish some of your teammates could actually learn from your example. Alas, that is a tale for another day.

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